Today, or for basically this entire school year, I have contemplated how positive thinking influences our ability to do things and make good decisions. I've always known that I'm a relatively positive person; it's one of the more obnoxious things about my personality. I rarely see how things could go wrong or think about the adverse things that could happen. I hate complaining, except when talking about my job at Old Navy. And I honestly can't stand it when other people complain or when they fail to see the positive in a situation. OR when they lower their expectations because they don't think that they can make the turn-out better.
For starters, people need to stop saying they can't do things because of something they're not. Basically, if you want to be something, you can be it. Don't prevent yourself from doing things just because you have not yet developed the necessary skills or traits. What do you do? You take the steps necessary to develop these skills and traits. I hear a lot of talk around this campus about people who just can't find significant others because they aren't "nice enough" or "flirtatious enough" or "funny enough." Now, you should never change yourself for one specific person, and you should never force yourself to date or be in a relationship if you just don't want to be in one, but you have to develop the qualities that someone, especially you, would want to date. Plus no one likes a negative Nelly who says they can't do anything. Another example, my dear boyfriend has been teaching me tennis the last three months. I am AWFUL at tennis. For a long time, I said that I wasn't athletic and I would always apologize. He then told me that it makes him sad to hear me say that I'm not athletic and that I'll never be good. He told me that if I tell myself that I'm not athletic then I won't be. So then I changed my tune. And I got better, just basically went from atrocious to awful. But that is still an improvement!
Secondly, we need to find more beautiful things in our world and be grateful for what we have. Nothing makes me crazier than when someone complains about going to school or that they have to go to work (I do complain about this, but I am grateful that I have a job and income). We have SO many things to be grateful for, and to spend any day without gratitude is a waste. Things are not going to go our way a lot in our lives, but if we can learn to find the happy in our second or even third choice, maybe we can move up to what our first choice was, or find that second and third aren't even that bad. Sit back everyday and look at what you have and what you have accomplished. If you feel like that's nothing, compare yourself to a 40-year-old man living in his mother's basement. He is 275 lbs and measures 5'9". What do you have over this man? Even if your only accomplishment is moving out, that is an AMAZING accomplishment that should be celebrated, even in this day and age.
Thirdly, we need to stop bringing other people down with negative comments. Everyone needs a little bit of realism in their lives, but no one needs negativity. We need devil's advocates and alternate views, we do not need insults. See the difference? Any time that someone is excited about a new thing, let them have their moment! You don't need to compete with them at that time. People deserve what they work hard for. Though it is difficult, be happy for them in that moment. You don't need to bring them down so that you are at the same level. You can work harder though, if you feel that you need to measure up! Hard work is always something to be celebrated. I feel that most people are at their happiest when they are working hard. It is also important to remember that everyone is fighting a battle, a hard one. Never have "trial comparing" competitions to see who has it harder. We all take on what we can handle, and we are only given what we can handle, so we need to respect peoples' hardships, Even if on the surface it appears that they are handling everything well.
Basically, smile and laugh through the hard times, it makes things easier.
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