Today, or for basically this entire school year, I have contemplated how positive thinking influences our ability to do things and make good decisions. I've always known that I'm a relatively positive person; it's one of the more obnoxious things about my personality. I rarely see how things could go wrong or think about the adverse things that could happen. I hate complaining, except when talking about my job at Old Navy. And I honestly can't stand it when other people complain or when they fail to see the positive in a situation. OR when they lower their expectations because they don't think that they can make the turn-out better.
For starters, people need to stop saying they can't do things because of something they're not. Basically, if you want to be something, you can be it. Don't prevent yourself from doing things just because you have not yet developed the necessary skills or traits. What do you do? You take the steps necessary to develop these skills and traits. I hear a lot of talk around this campus about people who just can't find significant others because they aren't "nice enough" or "flirtatious enough" or "funny enough." Now, you should never change yourself for one specific person, and you should never force yourself to date or be in a relationship if you just don't want to be in one, but you have to develop the qualities that someone, especially you, would want to date. Plus no one likes a negative Nelly who says they can't do anything. Another example, my dear boyfriend has been teaching me tennis the last three months. I am AWFUL at tennis. For a long time, I said that I wasn't athletic and I would always apologize. He then told me that it makes him sad to hear me say that I'm not athletic and that I'll never be good. He told me that if I tell myself that I'm not athletic then I won't be. So then I changed my tune. And I got better, just basically went from atrocious to awful. But that is still an improvement!
Secondly, we need to find more beautiful things in our world and be grateful for what we have. Nothing makes me crazier than when someone complains about going to school or that they have to go to work (I do complain about this, but I am grateful that I have a job and income). We have SO many things to be grateful for, and to spend any day without gratitude is a waste. Things are not going to go our way a lot in our lives, but if we can learn to find the happy in our second or even third choice, maybe we can move up to what our first choice was, or find that second and third aren't even that bad. Sit back everyday and look at what you have and what you have accomplished. If you feel like that's nothing, compare yourself to a 40-year-old man living in his mother's basement. He is 275 lbs and measures 5'9". What do you have over this man? Even if your only accomplishment is moving out, that is an AMAZING accomplishment that should be celebrated, even in this day and age.
Thirdly, we need to stop bringing other people down with negative comments. Everyone needs a little bit of realism in their lives, but no one needs negativity. We need devil's advocates and alternate views, we do not need insults. See the difference? Any time that someone is excited about a new thing, let them have their moment! You don't need to compete with them at that time. People deserve what they work hard for. Though it is difficult, be happy for them in that moment. You don't need to bring them down so that you are at the same level. You can work harder though, if you feel that you need to measure up! Hard work is always something to be celebrated. I feel that most people are at their happiest when they are working hard. It is also important to remember that everyone is fighting a battle, a hard one. Never have "trial comparing" competitions to see who has it harder. We all take on what we can handle, and we are only given what we can handle, so we need to respect peoples' hardships, Even if on the surface it appears that they are handling everything well.
Basically, smile and laugh through the hard times, it makes things easier.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Influences
One thing that I have been overly contemplating over these last couple of days is influences. I've noticed that everything we do influences someone around us to make a change, small or large, good or bad. I don't think that we as young people realize how much we affect those around us. As we're growing up and trying to discover who we want to become and what will take us there, we try to surround ourselves with others who want the same things as us so that hopefully we will build each other up (or break each other down, depending.) so that we can reach our goals, whatever they may be. But some outside force, person, movie, song, book, anything really can alter a person's view on life and what they want. Which scares me a little bit, because anyone can be drastically changed by one person. And though we'd like to say that these people change us for the better, they usually don't. Which scares me even more.
As I have watched friendships form and crumble, I notice a strange consistency: when friends are fighting, it's usually over something that one of the friends did or said. That's obvious. But the friend who did the thing that hurt the other person won't accept what they did wrong and as the friendship ends, the one who did nothing wrong moves on to bigger and better things. But the one who wouldn't accept what they did wrong and apologize moves on to friends who aren't as good as influences as the old ones. I want to know what makes us do that; move onto friends and relationships that alter what we do in a bad way. As humans we want to be accepted obviously, but we also want to stand out. So I guess we rebel and feel that that is the only way we can be different.
I'm really animate about this topic right now, so this post is going to be really long. I apologize.
I hope that I am a good influence on my friends. But even if I'm not perfect, I can still notice when there's someone in their lives that is causing them to do things they wouldn't normally do. And I work pretty hard to make sure I don't do anything that would pull my friends down, I always try (TRY) to build them up. I've noticed though that if I take them one step in the right direction a bad influence takes them three steps back and I have to work at it again just to bring them back to where they were. I've also seen times when one person's decision, only slightly involving another person causes that person to completely alter their life and their morals because of their one decision.
And the last thing I wanted to talk about was keeping our guard up. These bad things sneak into our lives so easily and quickly we don't even know what hit us. It honestly starts with something so small, but the poison that we allow in our lives can quickly multiply so that the one small thing that was okay causes another small thing to be okay and it just keeps going from there until you're lost.
So basically, don't listen to the old saying "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer". Try this one instead, "Keep all the bad stuff, yuckiness, and poison very far away so it can't touch you, and keep your good friends and influences closer, much, much closer."
Incredibly Tired-ly,
Rachel
As I have watched friendships form and crumble, I notice a strange consistency: when friends are fighting, it's usually over something that one of the friends did or said. That's obvious. But the friend who did the thing that hurt the other person won't accept what they did wrong and as the friendship ends, the one who did nothing wrong moves on to bigger and better things. But the one who wouldn't accept what they did wrong and apologize moves on to friends who aren't as good as influences as the old ones. I want to know what makes us do that; move onto friends and relationships that alter what we do in a bad way. As humans we want to be accepted obviously, but we also want to stand out. So I guess we rebel and feel that that is the only way we can be different.
I'm really animate about this topic right now, so this post is going to be really long. I apologize.
I hope that I am a good influence on my friends. But even if I'm not perfect, I can still notice when there's someone in their lives that is causing them to do things they wouldn't normally do. And I work pretty hard to make sure I don't do anything that would pull my friends down, I always try (TRY) to build them up. I've noticed though that if I take them one step in the right direction a bad influence takes them three steps back and I have to work at it again just to bring them back to where they were. I've also seen times when one person's decision, only slightly involving another person causes that person to completely alter their life and their morals because of their one decision.
And the last thing I wanted to talk about was keeping our guard up. These bad things sneak into our lives so easily and quickly we don't even know what hit us. It honestly starts with something so small, but the poison that we allow in our lives can quickly multiply so that the one small thing that was okay causes another small thing to be okay and it just keeps going from there until you're lost.
So basically, don't listen to the old saying "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer". Try this one instead, "Keep all the bad stuff, yuckiness, and poison very far away so it can't touch you, and keep your good friends and influences closer, much, much closer."
Incredibly Tired-ly,
Rachel
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Choices, Making, and Not Making.
Today I contemplated choices and the affect they have on people when you make them/ don't make them. As I say quite often when people want a quote on life, "Life is about choices. True happiness comes when we realize that good choices bring joy and bad choices bring sorrow." What brought this around was a lesson today on service and how random acts of service can really change a person's day. And how when we see an opportunity to serve, and don't take it, we can really change their lives in a not very progressive way.
I realized today that the choices we make always affect somebody. Sometimes directly, and sometimes not. But we are never the only ones affected by the choices that we make. But sometimes it's not what we choose to do, but what we choose not to do. For example, the little old lady crossing the street with groceries. She's obviously struggling and it's much too easy to ignore her and go on with your day, but what if you didn't? What if you pulled over, gave her a ride and helped her to her door? You could change her entire day, week, month, or entire outlook on life and people. What seems so small to us can make a life changing difference in somebody else's life. All we have to do is take the initiative and do what we know is right.
Speaking of right choices. I've seen lives that have been affected by one choice. Like a family member who decided to give into peer pressure and destroy his life with drugs. He would've been a very successful, wonderful man if he didn't make that one choice. It's horrible, isn't it? But I've also seen choices that just have amazing domino affects. Like my grandfather's choice to move to Bountiful, UT caused my mother to meet my father and things fell in place from there. But also there are choices that we continuously make. Like upholding moral standards of all kinds. It's not an easy thing to do, but boy am I glad I do it. Because by making these constant choices, I feel like I'm always in the right place at the right time. I feel like I'm deserving of the many things that I have. And I know that my life will be better in the future because of the habits I'm building and the way I'm living now.
I've noticed that when it comes to other people's choices, I get very scared and protective. Because I feel I know what's right (not to sound like a know it all or anything like that) and when they choose the opposite of that I sit back and bite my fingernails afraid of what's going to happen next. Because people's choices can affect their moods and personalities and their entire futures. And as I mentioned previously, in Rachel World, everybody does what they should. And so to close, make good choices, because you don't want to shatter the naive picture that I have of life. That'll be a very sad day indeed when it happens.
Determinately,
Rachel
I realized today that the choices we make always affect somebody. Sometimes directly, and sometimes not. But we are never the only ones affected by the choices that we make. But sometimes it's not what we choose to do, but what we choose not to do. For example, the little old lady crossing the street with groceries. She's obviously struggling and it's much too easy to ignore her and go on with your day, but what if you didn't? What if you pulled over, gave her a ride and helped her to her door? You could change her entire day, week, month, or entire outlook on life and people. What seems so small to us can make a life changing difference in somebody else's life. All we have to do is take the initiative and do what we know is right.
Speaking of right choices. I've seen lives that have been affected by one choice. Like a family member who decided to give into peer pressure and destroy his life with drugs. He would've been a very successful, wonderful man if he didn't make that one choice. It's horrible, isn't it? But I've also seen choices that just have amazing domino affects. Like my grandfather's choice to move to Bountiful, UT caused my mother to meet my father and things fell in place from there. But also there are choices that we continuously make. Like upholding moral standards of all kinds. It's not an easy thing to do, but boy am I glad I do it. Because by making these constant choices, I feel like I'm always in the right place at the right time. I feel like I'm deserving of the many things that I have. And I know that my life will be better in the future because of the habits I'm building and the way I'm living now.
I've noticed that when it comes to other people's choices, I get very scared and protective. Because I feel I know what's right (not to sound like a know it all or anything like that) and when they choose the opposite of that I sit back and bite my fingernails afraid of what's going to happen next. Because people's choices can affect their moods and personalities and their entire futures. And as I mentioned previously, in Rachel World, everybody does what they should. And so to close, make good choices, because you don't want to shatter the naive picture that I have of life. That'll be a very sad day indeed when it happens.
Determinately,
Rachel
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Separation and Distance
Hmm... Kind of depressing title huh? Whoops. Well today I contemplated separation and distance. I had the amazing privilege of going on a 19 day tour with a group of 56 other marvelous people who I miss dearly. I get attached to people much too easily and quickly. Considering that about three quarters of these people who went on the tour with me live within fifteen minutes of my home, you'd think that we would all stay in touch and be happy jolly together because we love being around each other so much. But for some reason that I don't understand, it isn't that way. In Rachel World, everyone gets along and loves everyone so that's where that slightly silly idea comes from. But the gist of this paragraph is... I miss everybody.
Well back to what brought me here really. I ran into three of my tour buddies this morning at a parade and we had a fun mini reunion. And when I got home I thought about how strange it is, the way our lives can run in circles in a way. And how our lives can be truly changed when our circles cross other peoples' circles. Well 56 other peoples' circles changed mine. And it is truly strange to me how my life continues with my dear friends and other people the way it was before, and I just keep going in my circle, wondering where everybody is, what they're doing, and where the heck they are. I also want to know what they're doing with their little life circle. Who's crossing it, coming to cross it, and who has left the circle all together. Well that's kind of the separation part, now time for the distance part that confuses even me a little bit. What's even stranger to me is that lives that were so intertwined together can continue moments from each other and yet not touch. That minutes away from me, someone I haven't talked to in months is continuing their life and their little circle and I have no part in that. Which is kind of a bummer to me. But yet, a friendship can stay very strong across a couple states. I have friends in other states right now that are proof of that. Families can stay as strong as ever across states and oceans, and lovers can keep a relationship going across hundreds and thousands of miles. And their circles stay happily intertwined. But my little circle, and other peoples' little circles still don't touch, despite small distances.
I would be very interested to run into some really old friends. Like kindergarten pals or friends from church camp 2 years ago. I want to know how everyone has changed, but yet I also want to know how they've stayed the same, and what they've stayed true to. I want to know who and what has come into their little life circle and how it has affected them.
Sometimes I wish I had an all-seeing eye so I could check up on everyone now and then. But for now Facebook will have to do. That's as good as an all-seeing eye that needs a contact lens. Well back to the joy sucking education called drivers ed.
Lovingly,
Rachel
Well back to what brought me here really. I ran into three of my tour buddies this morning at a parade and we had a fun mini reunion. And when I got home I thought about how strange it is, the way our lives can run in circles in a way. And how our lives can be truly changed when our circles cross other peoples' circles. Well 56 other peoples' circles changed mine. And it is truly strange to me how my life continues with my dear friends and other people the way it was before, and I just keep going in my circle, wondering where everybody is, what they're doing, and where the heck they are. I also want to know what they're doing with their little life circle. Who's crossing it, coming to cross it, and who has left the circle all together. Well that's kind of the separation part, now time for the distance part that confuses even me a little bit. What's even stranger to me is that lives that were so intertwined together can continue moments from each other and yet not touch. That minutes away from me, someone I haven't talked to in months is continuing their life and their little circle and I have no part in that. Which is kind of a bummer to me. But yet, a friendship can stay very strong across a couple states. I have friends in other states right now that are proof of that. Families can stay as strong as ever across states and oceans, and lovers can keep a relationship going across hundreds and thousands of miles. And their circles stay happily intertwined. But my little circle, and other peoples' little circles still don't touch, despite small distances.
I would be very interested to run into some really old friends. Like kindergarten pals or friends from church camp 2 years ago. I want to know how everyone has changed, but yet I also want to know how they've stayed the same, and what they've stayed true to. I want to know who and what has come into their little life circle and how it has affected them.
Sometimes I wish I had an all-seeing eye so I could check up on everyone now and then. But for now Facebook will have to do. That's as good as an all-seeing eye that needs a contact lens. Well back to the joy sucking education called drivers ed.
Lovingly,
Rachel
Friday, July 23, 2010
The Cliche Intro
Ah, this is quite important isn't it? First impressions are the only impressions as I've heard. So it's difficult to decide how I want to come off. Not too deep, because I feel like blogs are sometimes deep competitions between people to see who can sound the most profound. So I'll try not to be something I'm not and not use huge words that annoy people and I'll try not to ramble, which is quite difficult for me.
I've been talking about doing this blog for months, and considering it even more in my own mind. For some reason, I always think much too deeply into things. I try and see things that aren't there and I interpret way too much. In some cases that's not a good thing at all. But most of the time it's quite entertaining, as long as I don't let it influence my actions. I love talking about feelings and things that go on within the human mind. Once you get me started talking about it, I can't really stop.
So back to the blog itself. With this interesting little web page I'll dump my miscellaneous thoughts that I feel the need to share (with nobody actually, because I plan on telling no one about this, due to a fear of extreme judgement). Since I haven't contemplated anything today, or yesterday I'll list and describe my main "contemplation" example.
I Contemplated Mascara a Couple Months Ago...
So mascara, a simple, daily thing that we're usually too tired to think about while we're putting it on. But when I thought about it, I thought, "How strange... a black paste that we glop on the hair that grows from our eyelids to enhance beauty."
So by thinking this I thought about all make-up and how truly strange the whole multi-billion dollar industry is. All make-up to me is just an annoyance. Make-up is simply powders and pastes that we put on our faces to what, enhance beauty? In my opinion, the way some girls and sometimes boys wear make-up is very scary and distracts from more positive qualities about them. But I can't lie, a little powder, mascara, eyeliner and some blush and a little eyeshadow can do a girl some good. When it is done in accordance with natural beauty, and not scary clown type stuff. So basically, let natural beauty show through in your properly maked-up face and let your light shine through your lightly lined and mascara-ed eyes.
Hesitantly,
Rachel
I've been talking about doing this blog for months, and considering it even more in my own mind. For some reason, I always think much too deeply into things. I try and see things that aren't there and I interpret way too much. In some cases that's not a good thing at all. But most of the time it's quite entertaining, as long as I don't let it influence my actions. I love talking about feelings and things that go on within the human mind. Once you get me started talking about it, I can't really stop.
So back to the blog itself. With this interesting little web page I'll dump my miscellaneous thoughts that I feel the need to share (with nobody actually, because I plan on telling no one about this, due to a fear of extreme judgement). Since I haven't contemplated anything today, or yesterday I'll list and describe my main "contemplation" example.
I Contemplated Mascara a Couple Months Ago...
So mascara, a simple, daily thing that we're usually too tired to think about while we're putting it on. But when I thought about it, I thought, "How strange... a black paste that we glop on the hair that grows from our eyelids to enhance beauty."
So by thinking this I thought about all make-up and how truly strange the whole multi-billion dollar industry is. All make-up to me is just an annoyance. Make-up is simply powders and pastes that we put on our faces to what, enhance beauty? In my opinion, the way some girls and sometimes boys wear make-up is very scary and distracts from more positive qualities about them. But I can't lie, a little powder, mascara, eyeliner and some blush and a little eyeshadow can do a girl some good. When it is done in accordance with natural beauty, and not scary clown type stuff. So basically, let natural beauty show through in your properly maked-up face and let your light shine through your lightly lined and mascara-ed eyes.
Hesitantly,
Rachel
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